gone to the printers

I think this might be like arriving at base camp at the foot of Everest

I know its an awful lot like being 37 weeks pregnant.

maybe you dreamed of it

surely you worked for it

but as the time nears

you realize, increasingly

that you have absolutely no idea

what you’ve gotten yourself into

 

and the dark clouds form and disperse

as you reckon the size of the leap

you have made

peering at the place you think you’re going to land

readying the things you think you’ll need

asking for mentors, safety nets

realizing that when you need financial security more than ever you are sloughing it off

to pit yourself against the challenge

of doing this thing

and doing it well

aprons and layers falling

revealing the dream vulnerable to the raw air:

 

I,

Writer

terrified, quaking, tired and certain

there is no perfect draft, there is no truly ready time

the story is past due

 

and gone to the printers.

finally finished, and only just begun.

Downwind: A People’s History of the Nuclear West.  November 2014

 

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4 Comments

Filed under art, artists, Atomic Bomb, basic goodness, cancer, Change, Civil Disobedience, coexistence, Colonialism, community, culture.society.anthropology., Desert, Family, History, Homeland, howard zinn, love, meditation, memory, motherhood, Nevada Test Site, Nuclear weapons, oceans and mountains, on writing, poetry, Pregnancy, stories, violence, Waitress, winter, writing

4 responses to “gone to the printers

  1. So good to see you posting again on OEW

    Reading this was akin
    to sinking hand
    into April’s just tilled soil-
    slowly tightening fingers around dirt,
    intuitivly measuring moisture,
    how particles hold together,
    the weight of the clump created when
    I tighten grip just a bit more –
    relax hand
    and open up to guage
    the dirt’s readiness
    for seeds.

    And then knowing,
    with certainty,
    it’s time to plant

    You are there

    And it ‘s going/ to be great . . .

  2. Misspelled gauge. That’s what I get for typing on a mini ipad w/o specs.

    xxxx you are awesome dear Sar. xxxx m

  3. Howard Fox

    No question about it. I believe you truly have just begun a new journey! There are great things ahead, and you are certainly up to the challenge. Congratulations Sarah, I am so proud of you!

  4. Merala Heins

    beautiful in so many ways…merala

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